Of Nostalgia and Old Albums

Rediscovering Linkin Park

Dearest Sara,

My pen has not caressed these pages for a while now. The gentle impressions left on the pad have slowly faded and dust gathered while my mind was carried away by the December storms. But here I find myself, pen in hand, scratching away at what was once a blank page to send my thoughts to you.

New year, New beginnings they say. Well, I’ve found its more like walking the same old paths again. New year, new ways of looking at the old crystal ball and asking what lies out there. But the crystal ball never replies, instead it shimmers, colours flashing and turns into this lovely meld of silver and grey; A mirror. And the answer is clear, we must look within.

This is all a long-winded way to say I went back to Spotify to look at old playlists. And O what a journey it was.

If this was a pile of old records, I fell upon the dustiest ones at the bottom of the pile. I pulled them out, placed them on the digital record player and pressed play.

And there it was. Rock. That beautiful meld of guitar, drum, and voice that just cry out to your soul. ( Rumour has it that Soul is supposed to do this, but meh… I’ll stick with rock ). And in the music, a voice I hadn’t heard in a long time. A tune I hadn’t listened to for a while. A serving of metal with a dose of poetry. Linkin Park.

I have a long love affair with Linkin Park ( Get jealous Blue October!!). It started with Meteora which moved from the o-so-relatable ( with my teenage angst ) slow feel Somewhere I Belong to the fast poetry of Mike Shinoda on Faint and culminating in the beautiful pain of Numb. That was the perfect primer to the amazing world of Linkin Park. It was love at first album.

That sent me hunting down their albums. A pretty considerable challenge considering that this was the wonderful world of pre-internet music distribution. And that’s when I discovered Hybrid Theory and within it an old song that had haunted my dreams in In the End. To state that I absolutely love that album would be a gross understatement. I fell in love with it.

The music spoke to every emotion I felt at the time. The words bore my thoughts and the beat gave them the greatest medium that they could be borne on. I was an angry teen and in the music, I found solace. I found a companion. I found words that would sing to the very core of my being, resonate with me and just put a damned smile on my face.

From Minutes to Midnight to A Thousand Suns, I listened to every song. And as I slowly grew from my angst and anger, as I embraced the new world that opened up to me then, I slowly faded away from Linkin Park. Only enjoying the occasional rendition of Hands held High ( One of my all-time favourites )and Numb Encore. I’d occasionally hunt down No More Sorrow just to listen to those drums at the beginning. I felt like their work was done. their mission accomplished. They had held my hand through the storm.

And that’s why when the news that Chester Bennington, their lead singer, had committed suicide, It hit me like a truck. Every avid Linkin Park fan knew that Chester had his struggles. But I think we all held onto the hope that with the fire that he lit in us, he would somehow find some warmth to comfort him in his cold. And some of the same words that lifted me out of my dark took on such new meaning. He wasn’t just speaking to the hurt out here, but to the hurt within him as well. I couldn’t bear the thought of listening to those same words.

Until now.

Now they make sense. The same words, by the same voice, to the same ears and yet a different meaning. The teenager replaced by the man. The lake of teenage experience replaced by the wider sea. From locked corridors to an open world. And somehow, somewhere in the words of A Thousand Suns, far removed from the frenetic Kerrang of Hybrid Theory, new meaning is found. And now, I slowly consume decades of art. In a journey that fills me with nostalgia and catches my ears with new discoveries.

It is a journey I find myself enjoying. Rediscovering these old tunes. But more importantly, discovering a treasure trove of newer gems. Both in meaning and in song.

I know you to be a metalhead Sara. And I hope these words pull you down the path of musical rediscovery. So put on your headphones, plug in that sound and press play.

Yours, Always,

Lawrence

#LinkinPark #Music